An Open Letter to Karan Joher

Dear Karan Johar,

Namaste, how are you. My name is Chironji Lal Khosla. Karan this letter may have a bit of age old crap of My India and Your India, but this is not about generational gap, I am very much from the audience, you make movies for.

OK so another movie arrived “Break ke Baad” and I strongly feel this time I must not procrastinate this long due letter. You must be wondering why I am writing to you. Well, it all started long back and I don’t exactly remember when, and the excuse given was “commercial compulsion” to show the exotic foreign locations to lure my India into the cinema halls. There was a time when cinema was meant as an art of storytelling, gradually as this holy “Commercial Compulsion” started taking over, this art of storytelling factor took a back seat. First it was few songs picturisation which got extended into half the movie being shot on foreign locations and my India was delighted to see beautiful faces running around the Alps of some European heaven, doesn’t even realizing that it was a honey trap.

You know Karan, there is a very thin line between Cinema and Society, both are mirror to each other so we can’t blame if it was society which was being reflected in cinema or it was your cinema which was being reflected into society. I am a commoner and for me cinema means not just entertainment or a way to escape from my world, it is the medium which told me the stories and these are the stories which I will pass on to my children and which will help building the character of mine, my children’s as well of nations. Your bloody “Commercial Compulsion” transformed into “Commercial Greed” and that too in such extent that your movies started a new trend wherein whole story and its characters were based in foreign locations. Yes, karan it was your movies which started this greed and nobody noticed as to how easily you made my India cry over the dying scene of Aman in Kal ho Na Ho, nobody noticed how easily you made my India wait for karwa chouth moon in Kabhi khushi kabhi gham and nobody even noticed the forced family drama in We are Family has nothing to do with my India. I have a valid issue here, why the hell do my India’s stories be based in your India, why the hell Ranbeer Kapoor in Anjaana Anjaani needs a river in Nevada to commit sucide, aren’t my Ganga deep enough. You might be laughing at this point as to what the hell this guy is talking about, but there has to be a limit to your commercial greed. Salaam Namastey, NewYork, Kurbaan, Kabhi alwaidaa na kehna, kal ho na ho, dostana, anjaana anjaani, We are family, My name is Khan and many more, you are just milking the medium with utmost greed and with no respect to it.

I am not against your movies as it’s an independent country and you have all the rights to milk your contacts and make the movies you are comfortable with, But Sir, why not lets base all these crap which you call stories be based in My India. Let Deepika go to Amritsar instead of Australia for a soul searching trip in Break ke Baad, let Aman of Kal ho na ho, die in some Indian Hospital and let the wholesome family of Kabhi khushi kabhi gham live in a palace in my India, we have plenty here. I will not tell you about the story telling aspect of a movie as your movies have nothing to do with that pity thing, and we have plenty of storyteller who entertain us enough without using the tantrums.

I do not know if it going to reach you or not but I am relieved with my agony. I wish one day you will understand that a story can be told effectively with unknown faces and local setup, I am nobody to challenge you.

Yours Truly,

Chironji Lal Khosla.

"that scary night"

An amateur attempt to share an interesting and life moving anecdote, I promised someone to write about it:

“bang, Bang, BANG”. Drop dead silence of the cold wintry night was broken with this heavy voice asking me to open the door. I was just dumb struck, who might it be. Though it was very common for someone to drop at our door at any given hour, as our “Peeli Kothi” was center for every activity, being just yards away from the institute. We were 4 idiots living in there, Bheda “the Bull”, Josh “the lazy perfectionist”, harry “the bespectacled intelligent” and yours truly “the lean villager”, “gawti” as they used to call me. We were very closely knitted bunch of guys at instii, as there were only 30 of us. So the “Peeli kothi” was free lunch home for every hungry stomach, it was bathroom for every stinking fellow, it was a playground for sports frenzy guys, it was bedroom for those afternoon naps, it was the booz bar for those unwarranted celebration of no occasions and above all it was answer to every question you can’t get answered at instii.

“Khol Be, warna darwaza tod dunga” [Open, else I will break the door], I collected my senses and answered in a very confident tone, who’s there?, I knew bull & party are not going to give any ear to this as I was the occupant of the front room of the kothi and declared “darbaan”[gateman] too.

So by the next morning, I was a declared mouse by Shonee, the night intruder, despite giving so many valid excuses, I was the talk of the tea sipping, samosa munching future managers that “gandhi, darr gaya”. All this didn’t go well with Tudu, as I was one of his favorite junior, and he was more than a mentor to me, he kept asking me, “is this all true” and I kept denying. But he was not digesting my excuses and reasons, all he was telling me, why I didn’t open the door on the very first BANG. I could see a deep silence on his face, I knew he was upset.

It was almost midnight, and I heard the familiar sound of Tudu’s MIG-27, his motorcycle. I opened the door and he said “chal, gandhi”. We never used to question him as there was no biological clock in our system at the instii. The motorcycle was running at a constant pace, the engine sound was, all I could hear in that dark wintry night. Suddenly the road appeared unfamiliar; I gathered courage and asked tudu “where are we heading Tudu”.

After about half an hour, we stopped in a dark dead desert. “it’s the old graveyard gandhi” he pointed to a deserted dark gate and told me to go to the one of the corner room of the place. Now I was about to faint, I said Tudu “are you joking, or what” but he was adamant. “If you were not frightened yesterday then show me your courage by going to the corner room alone and I will join you there”, before I could reply, he disappeared in the dark night. I felt numb, a sense of fear was gripping me, I tried to locate him but Tudu was nowhere visible. I heard the familiar voice from the distant room, someone was waving from the dark, “come on gandhi” and I head toward the dark figure.

There he was sitting in that small dingy room with one open window, there was drop dead silence and all I could hear was the cold air waves making deadly sounds. He made me sit beside him, “are you afraid, gandhi”. I try to saw outside the windows and immediately took my eyes away as I saw lot of dark figures out there. Well frankly speaking, I was with tudu and there was no question of being afraid, but to me taking unnecessary and outrageous risk was pointless.

“Why did you took your eyes away from the darkness” and he gave me most beautiful experience of my life. “Fear is always Unknown, just know it and you are fearless, more you take your eyes away from the unknown more you are into the fear of it, just face it and there is no fear”, and I again peeped out of the window. I kept my eyes on each and every dark object and suddenly the view outside appeared very normal, for the first time I could sense it was almost a full moon night and the moonlight was magical outside. The cool wind sound appeared musical to me and tude pointed to each and every object we could see together. He was right, the abstract objects were now clear to my eyes and there was no sense of fear inside. For almost half an hour we sat there and talked about lot of things, and I was clear about the fact “don’t try to run away from the unknown, just face it and you will be fearless”. We were heading back and I was thinking how beautiful all this was, unaware of the fact that life is going to take an instant test…….

My thoughts came to an abrupt end when motorcycle stopped with a screeching sound, tudu tilted the bike and a big stone passed brushing my ear. There stood an insane man with long beard and torn clothes. He screamed and threw another stone, tudu immediately got down from the bike and picked a stone and threw in the opposite direction, and the man ran away making obnoxious sounds. I knew, the confrontation instead of running away was the right thing tudu did. We both laughed and patted each other. I hugged him, I knew this time is never gonna come again and I wanted to live it forever.

"Life is all about identifying the co-incidences"

I was driving in this pin drop silence, after this heated argument over a trivial matter. A Thousend thought were running around the mind and was just scared to break the silence, she too seems lost and I was sure that same thoughts were running around her mind too. This was not a new thing but today I don’t know, it was stretched a bit.

"Life is all about identifying the co-incidences", I don’t exactly remember where I read it or was it told to me by someone, may be my grandfather must have told me this. So that doesn't mean I seek the co-incidences, but I do notice many a events which shows the path or say which just gives you a hint of a force around us. These simple co-incidences some times are too simple to get noticed and that’s where the trick lies, and more you become aware of this, the path becomes simpler.

So the silence was killing both of us in our minds, the bumpy road was suddenly turned into a smooth drive, no traffic chaos and out of the blue I tuned the local radio station. The final stanza of this beautiful song was being aired:

http://www.radioreloaded.com/tracks/?15052[Listen to it, worth to spare few minutes]

Here are the lyrics of this last stanza: Kabhi tujhko gila mujhse, kabhi mujhko shikayat hai, Magar phirbhi tujhe meri, mujhe teri zaroorat hai, Main ye iqraar karta hoon, main tujhse pyar karta hoon, Zindagi aa raha hoon main. Liye sapne nigahon me, chala hoon teri rahon me Zindagi aa raha hoon main.....

We both smiled and were laughing, yes the ice was broken and there were tears in her eyes. It was just another co-incidence and I was trying to identify it.

Hugs

Adi.

25 Random Things About Me, it was long due....

1. I am a bloody “Hindi Mediumite” as my mates used to call me; I still can’t grasp an English Song or a Movie so easily.

2. What I like most about myself is my self belief against all odds.

3. I am draping ladies worldwide in Ethnic Indian Wear; I never thought or planned of this.

4. I am not a religious person, but I am a strong devotee of Lord Venkateshwara of TIRUPATI.

5. I have not visited a saloon in past 6 years; I tonsure my head at Tirupati every six month.

6. One of my best experiences of life was when I was taken to an old graveyard in the dark midnight by my Guru to get rid of my fears of Unknown. Thanks Tudu.

7. Thing I don’t like about myself is that I can not last impression in first meeting.

8. I have a very faint memory of my childhood when I was bitten by a snake; I can still visualize a very faint picture of it, though I was a toddler then. My doc says it’s unusual.

9. Sometime I feel like to Quit India, but it’s only sometime.

10. I love tennis, more than cricket.

11. I am a movie buff; I made a short but complete movie titled “How to wear a saree”. I made it for my clients though it was an amateur attempt but I am proud of it.

12. I’ve been interviewed few months back by some unknown podcasting website; I gave it just to get a feel of being interviewed.

13. I am a designer by accident; I myself am very badly dressed person.

14. I am a workaholic; I work almost 18 hours a day.

15. I am completely a foodie, love good cuisines and sometime loves cooking too.

16. One thing I really miss is travelling. I just love going places unheard and unexplored but this routine life seldom gives me chance. I am soon backpacking for a LEH trip on a bike.

17. I have this new passion of collecting DVD’s and my proud possessions are Malgudi Days and Swami. I have almost 100 DVD’s in my collection of different genre.

18. My favorite quote: Every morning deep in Africa a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must run faster than the fastest lion otherwise it would be killed to death. Every morning deep in Africa a lion wakes up, it knows it must outrun the slowest of the gazelle otherwise it would be starved to death. So it doesn’t matter weather you are a gazelle or a lion, the bottom-line is when sun comes up better be running.

19. I don’t believe in astrology, it is for faint hearted people. Sometime I feel, maybe its the otherway round, a non believer of astrology can be a faint hearted.

20. I am strongly influenced by my grandfather; he was a Gandhian and was a true social reformist. He once brought a Child Widow to our home and gave her a room to live until he got her remarried, I was a kid then but now I realize how courageous he was.

21. My wife is the most beautiful and blessed thing happened to me. She is a true Soul mate, incidentally I was reading “The Bridge Across Forever” when I got engaged and I knew she was the one, it was an arranged marriage and I said “Yes” without even meeting her.

22. My long cherished dream is of Bungee Jumping.

23. I feel, I am not a very strong willed person. I am indecisive sometime and I always remember one of my teachers word “Don’t say Yes when you want to say No” after uttering Yes for a No.

24. Another dream is to own a BEETLE car. I don’t know but I love to have one.

25. I am overall a good fellow at heart and it took me almost 3 days to come to complete this list. It’s not an impromptu attempt.