Sunday, November 04, 2007

For those who missed Khalid's Review of NO SMOKING




Hi All,



Writing after a loooooooooooong Gap. I was so lazy all these days, busy with business. Anyway, the recent Blah Blah Blah between Anurag Kashyap and Khalid Mehmood made me so curious about NO SMOKING. No I will not give you any more review of this Movie, actually I am in a dilemma. If I say I did not even understand the movie at all, I feel guilty of not being a part of neo intelligent system bashing CULT. If I say It was a classic movie and a great effort by Anurag, I will again feel guilty as it was a loser at systems barometer.



Anyway, whatever, but I really loved the way Khalid took his revenge, so this is here again who missed what actaully he wrote in his review:



No Smoking Cast: John Abraham, Ayesha Takia, Filter Tips, Ash TraysDirection: Sir Anurag KashyapRating: *



Great, wonderful, superb, just too creative for words. Sheer genius. Now, we must all stand up, salute and go wah-wah-wah for Anurag Kashyap, who writes blockbuster blogs and classic movies. He’s genius, maan, pure genius. He’ll make a Kaagaz ke Phoolpatti yet. Or at least an Anurag India. Or how about a Kashyap-e-Azam?
I mean he pays homage to the director of Cabaret (Bob Fosse) when he makes a woman sing in the voice of Adnan Sami. Shudder. Kashyap reads and sees movies, you know, so he’s very knowledgeable. He can even say critics are something that go down the flush every morning, that they are seven-letter-words beginning with F and ending with S. But aren’t we all?
Aaah, so lovely, beautiful, Kashyap has now written and directed No Smoking. In this John Abraham, with his Gulzar-like stubble, smokes ciggies, bathes in a tub, visits a weird Undergroundpur for a cure (for smoking, not bathing sillies) and argues with Ranvir Shorey who plays cross-eyed, a first in cinema history – an actor goes kaania, bhenga, whatever.


Too in-depth man, too in-depth, puffing, driving, the sex act, the sex act, fingers being chopped. Kcuf, kcuf.. what’s happening out here? You can’t make out, you don’t care, and you’re fed up of the affectations, the self-indulgence, and the fact that you even bothered to see this Dhumrapan Nishedh bandhi which tells you about Socrates, Plato and then goes Do be Do. I swear on Sinatra’s head. Hey, Kashy actually hears retro-music and wants us to know. Niiice.
Gee, the movie’s so unusual, unconventional and daring. It’s an original guys, original. Get me a double whisky yaar. Gotta celebrate. It’s so very much like Stephen King’s story Quitters’ Inc. which featured as a part of the Cat’s Eye horror movie way back in 1985. What to do Sir Genius? We Idiotic Reviewers, FOOLS, Scum of the Earth, watch DVDs too.
And yes, we actually say Abraham sir still has to LEARN the Ka Kha Ga (read A B C) of acting, Ayesha Takia has to stop looking plump.
Sir Kashyap, your genius is blinding. Thank you for Quitters’ Inc which you have set in Mumbai and Siberia. And if you ask me, at this very point, I don’t want to quit smoking. I want to quit Kashyaping. See a Bhojpuri or a Blogpuri movie. Just don’t do this to me sir, please, don’t. The rest of the world needs your brain. Ulp, I don’t.



Honestly, I am still trying to figure out the movie despite being a movie buff myself.



Hugs



Adi